Falling to Pieces Read online

  “No, I meant how do you feel about him moving in with your mom?” Billie sits next to me as I stab a piece of sesame chicken with my fork. “Then you’ll have to see her and Frank every time you visit with your grandpa.”

  My insides quiver at the thought of my mom and my jerk of a stepdad, Frank. Billie knows I try to avoid them at all costs. “I’ll manage.”

  “I know you will.” She pats me on the shoulder. “And at least now you can kill two birds with one stone. You can see your grandpa, and get your mom off your back at the same time.”

  I chuckle. Leave it to Billie to see the good in every situation. That’s one of the things I love about her. Growing up wasn’t easy for Billie. Her parents are both alcoholics and pretty neglectful. She’s the youngest of four siblings, but the other three were already teenagers before she was born. According to Billie, she was the ‘oops’ baby, and she grew up pretty much alone. But the thing about Billie is that she never feels sorry for herself. She moved out the minute she graduated, and she makes the best out of her life. I’ve never met her family, and her mom has only called a couple of times since I’ve known her, but it doesn’t seem to bother her. If it does, she doesn’t say so, and I don’t press. I know what it’s like to try to forget your past, so I don’t make Billie talk about hers.

  “Yeah, I guess that’s true.” I chuckle, and then shove a forkful of rice into my mouth.

  “Well, for what it’s worth, I think Asher will come around. Just give him some time.”

  I’m not sure if Asher will come around or not, but more importantly, I’m not sure what I want. For the past year I’ve wanted Asher to leave me alone, but now that he’s back I feel drawn to him in a way that I’ve never felt before.

  6

  Asher

  It’s still light outside even though it’s almost nine o’clock. The sky is just now starting to dim, an array of salmon and violet colors washing over the clouds. Cole and I are sitting on a rock overlooking the lake and sipping on a beer. Every time another person walks by we hide the beer under the crook of our legs. The last thing I need is to get caught drinking at the lake. Then my mom will never get off my back. Luckily, though, the only other people out right now are teenagers, and they don’t care what we’re drinking.

  “So, what did you do today?” Cole asks, staring out at the still water and taking a pull of his beer.

  “Nothing much.”

  “Really?” He cocks an eyebrow. “Because I ran into Peyton and she said that you were at the Steakhouse with Ivy.”

  “I guess she’s still a blabbermouth, huh?” I grunt in frustration, and take another swig of my beer. It’s bitter as it slides down my throat.

  “Aren’t all girls?” Cole laughs, kicking a rock near the toe of his shoe.

  His remark rubs me the wrong way, reminding me of Ivy’s confession. A day ago I would’ve said that Ivy was the exception to that rule. She never was one to gossip, but now I’m wondering how well I know Ivy.

  “What’s the story with you and Ivy, man?” Cole asks.

  I shake my head, glancing down at the beer in my hand. I’m not usually much of a drinker, but tonight I wish for something stronger. I peel back the label on the bottle and roll it nervously between my fingers. “There’s no story. I went to see her, that’s all. I probably won’t see her again.”

  Cole sighs with relief. “That’s probably good. We all know what happened last time she got her hooks into you.”

  I pick up a smooth rock and throw it out at the water. When I was younger I was great at skipping rocks, but today the rock hits the water, makes a splash, and quickly sinks. A couple walks past us holding hands and giggling, and for some reason it irritates me. “I just don’t get it, man. Why would she make that up about Cam?”

  Cole shrugs. “You know how chicks are. She probably just wanted attention or something.”

  His words just don’t ring true to the Ivy I know. “But I saw her bruises. She was hurt.”

  “Ivy’s a daredevil, you know that. Maybe she just hurt herself on accident.”

  I remember Ivy’s words when I first saw the injuries. She said that she fell. It sounded like such a flimsy excuse, like the kind of thing abused women say after their husband beats the crap out of them. But now I wonder if it was the truth. Cole is right. Ivy isn’t the type of girl to back down from a challenge of any kind. She loves the rush of doing something risky. I remember the time we went rock jumping at the lake. All of the other girls laid out on their towels soaking up the sun, but Ivy just stripped down to her bikini and stalked up to us.

  "Watcha guys doing?" she asked, nudging me in the side. That was one of the things I loved about Ivy. The way she would just come up and talk to me. Even in a big group I was the first one she spoke to, the one she joked and bantered with. Even my girlfriends would wait for me to come to them, but not Ivy. She was different.

  "We're going to jump off this rock into the lake." I turned to her, raising my eyebrow. My gaze lingered on her bikini clad body, and I was grateful that I had on sunglasses so she wouldn't see how my eyes scaled every inch of her.

  "Cool." She placed a hand on her hip, exposing her short nails that were painted a dark purple. "I'm in."

  Some of the other guys kind of chuckled, and gave me an incredulous look. I glanced back at the other girls lathered up in suntan oil. No way would any of them be over here threatening to jump from this high rock down to the cold water below.

  "Ives." I grabbed her arm. "You don't have to do this."

  She cocked her head to the side. "I know I don't have to, but I want to."

  "Ah, just go back and sunbathe with the other chicks. This is guy stuff," Cole teased her. Cam and Michael laughed from over her shoulder.

  Ivy smirked, her gaze sweeping all of us. "Are you guys scared that I'm gonna make you look bad?"

  "C'mon, it's dangerous," Michael piped up.

  "Not any more dangerous than hanging out up here with you guys," Ivy countered, a challenging gleam in her eye.

  My lips curled upward at her statement. Some of the other girls peered over to see what was going on, but they didn't look surprised. I think everyone was used to Ivy hanging with the boys.

  "Okay, enough jabbering." Cam pushed past her. "This is what we get for hanging out with a chick. I'm jumping." He swiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand.

  "Not so fast there, speedy." Ivy knocked him out of the way and placed her feet at the edge of the rock. My breath hitched in my throat. "It's my turn." She lifted her hands high in the air, and despite my best efforts, my gaze landed on her chest. After pushing up with her legs she jumped off the rock, and plummeted to the water below.

  I gasped and lurched forward. She entered the water with a splash. I kept my eyes on the place she landed, waiting for her to surface. After a few seconds her head bobbed up. She waved at us and I waved back, exhaling with relief.

  "That girl is crazy," Cole breathed.

  "Yeah, she is, isn't she?" I smiled, my eyes still glued to Ivy as she lazily swam back to shore.

  “Are you going to go see him?” Cole's question pulls me back to the present.

  I know exactly who he’s talking about, and it makes me squirm. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

  “You’re going to have to sooner or later.”

  I take the last drink from the bottle and then toss it at my feet. “Maybe not.”

  “Suit yourself.”

  My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I snatch it out. For a second I’m hoping it will be Ivy, but then I shove down the thought. I shouldn’t want to hear from her after what she told me. Besides, she hasn’t tried to get in touch with me for a year despite the fact that I still have the same phone number. I doubt she’d finally text me now.

  Just wanted to check on u. U seemed sad when u left the restaurant.

  Without bothering to respond, I shove the phone back in my pocket.

  “Who was that?”

  “
Peyton. Boy, she sure doesn’t waste any time.” I shake my head. “It’s not like I’d ever get back together with her.”

  “She’s not that bad,” Cole says.

  I raise an eyebrow at him.

  “Okay, so she’s a little over the top,” Cole concedes.

  I snort. “That’s an understatement.”

  “Hey, but you know what? This really hot trainer I work with, Mercedes, she’s having a party this weekend. You should come with me. It’s gonna be off the hook.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “C’mon, man, she’s got tons of hot friends. It’ll get your mind off of all this stuff.”

  “Maybe. I’ll think about it.”

  I’m not sure if I’m ready to get Ivy off my mind and move on. A part of me just wants to lose myself in some other girl, but another part of me wants to cling to Ivy forever. I hate how complicated things are. It’s never been like this for me, and it’s frustrating. Maybe I should go with Cole. Perhaps letting loose with my friend is exactly what I need to put things in perspective.

  It has been several days since I showed up at the Steakhouse and learned the truth about Ivy. Still I haven’t been able to get her out of my mind. She has haunted my dreams, and lingered in my thoughts during the day. As hard as I’ve tried to forget about her, I can’t. I know I should be so angry with her for lying to me, but I keep thinking about that night and I’m just not upset. It’s true that she didn’t tell me it was Cam. I jumped to that conclusion. The only part that stops me up is that little nod she gave me. It seemed like a confession, but maybe I misread it.

  “Ready, man?” Cole clamps me on the shoulder.

  In an attempt to get Ivy off my mind and Cole off my back, I agreed to go to the party with him.

  “Yep.” I nod, holding the keys to my car in my palm.

  “I’m so glad you’re coming.” Cole hops in the passenger side and clangs the door shut behind him. “It’ll be just like old times.”

  I slide into the driver’s side and close my own door. “Let’s hope it doesn’t get that crazy,” I joke, as I stick the keys in the ignition. They jangle together, a clash of metals.

  “Let’s hope it does,” Cole responds with a wicked smile.

  Laughing, I start the car and pull out of the driveway. My tires crunch on the pavement as I turn onto the street. I flick on the radio and a fast hip hop beat fills the car. Rolling down my window, I let the warm breeze spill into the car. Just being out with Cole on a warm summer evening reminds me of old times.

  “Hey, remember that party at Robert’s house when we almost set the neighbors house on fire?” Cole asks with a chuckle.

  “How could I forget?” I feel alternately horrified and proud at the memory. “Who brought over the illegal fireworks anyway?”

  “I don’t know, but they were awesome.”

  “Yeah, until the one landed on the neighbor’s roof,” I supply.

  “Remember how freaked Robert was? He thought we were going to jail for sure.” Cole continues laughing, but my stomach clenches.

  Maybe going out with Cole isn’t the best idea. The last thing I need is to be in trouble with the law again. I really hope this party is tamer than the ones from high school. For the rest of the drive Cole drones on about how hot this Mercedes chick is, and how her friends are as well. I hope he’s right. Cole normally has good taste in girls, and I could really use a distraction tonight. Especially since I’m Cole’s DD. No drinking means I’ll need something else to keep me occupied at this party.

  We pull up in front of a small tract home with numerous cars parked out front and along the street. The street looks similar to mine with the houses that all resemble each other. I step out of the car, and lock it up. That’s when I spot a couple making out on the hood of a car in the driveway.

  “Does Mercedes still live with her parents?” I ask, taking in the size of the house.

  “No, she rents this place with a few of her friends.”

  I nod as we walk up to the front door. The door is unlocked, so we don’t bother knocking. We just walk inside. It looks about like every party I’ve ever been to with couples strung all over each other, scattered about the family room and kitchen, red solo cups in hand.

  “Coley, you made it,” a tanned girl with dark hair and eyes saunters toward Cole.

  I raise my brows at him. “Coley?”

  “Shut up, man.” He swats me good-naturedly on the upper arm. “You have to admit, it sounds cute when she says it.

  The girl smiles when she sees me. “And you must be Asher.”

  It reminds me of what Billie said when I met her, and I find my thoughts unwillingly drifting to Ivy again. I grin. “And you must be Mercedes.”

  “So, Coley’s told you about me, huh?” She bats her made-up eyelashes at Cole, and he beams back at her.

  Wow, he’s got it bad.

  Deciding to the leave the two of them alone I say, “I’m gonna go in the kitchen and get a drink.”

  Cole raises his brows at me.

  “Don’t worry, man. I’ll have soda or something,” I reassure him before making my way to the kitchen. The minute I enter a cute blond girl looks in my direction, flashing me a shy smile and wave. She sort of reminds me of Ivy with her fresh-face and light blond hair, but that’s where the similarities end. This girl has green eyes instead of Ivy’s blue ones, and there is innocence in them that isn’t present in Ivy’s. When I look into Ivy’s eyes it’s like I can see the weight of the entire world in them.

  I make my way over to the counter that the girl sits behind on a barstool. “Hey,” I say to her.

  “Hey, yourself.” She bites down on her bottom lip, and it’s clear that she isn’t used to flirting.

  “Do you know if there is any soda or water around here?” I shove my fingers into the pocket of my jeans.

  She points to two ice chests near the back door. “The blue one has beer, the red one has waters and sodas.” Then she juts out her hand. “I’m Sydney, by the way. One of Mercedes' roommates.”

  I take her hand in mine. It’s cold and clammy, supporting my theory that she’s not a big flirt. Clearly she's nervous. It makes the whole thing that much more endearing. “Asher. I came here with Cole. He’s a co-worker of Mercedes.”

  “Oh, I know Cole,” she says.

  I reach into the red cooler and find a coke. As I pop the top, I take the barstool next to her, set my soda down and rest my elbows on the counter. A group of rowdy guys play a drinking game behind us at the kitchen table, and from where I sit I can see Cole in the family room with Mercedes.

  “So you know Cole? Do you work at the gym too?” I ask Sydney.

  “No, but I work out there, so that’s how I’ve met him.” She takes a sip from her red cup, and then raises an eyebrow at me. “Do you have something against alcohol?”

  “No.” I shake my head feeling a little embarrassed. “But I’m driving tonight.”

  She gazes at me with newfound appreciation. “Responsible. I like it.”

  “Glad I could impress you.” I grin, moving my barstool a little closer. This night just got a whole lot better.

  7

  Ivy

  “So Brandon invited us to a party tonight,” Billie says the second she gets home from work. She sits on the couch next to me and unhooks the strap on her shoes. After slipping them off, she wriggles her toes, flashing the candy apple red polish of her toenails at me.

  “Brandon, the busboy?” I sit forward and raise an eyebrow. I had already changed into my sweatpants and planned to spend a quiet evening with my latest mystery novel. The idea of changing into other clothes and going to someone’s house to watch guys chug beer from a keg in the kitchen sounds less than appealing right now.

  “Yeah. A friend of his is throwing a party tonight and he asked if you and I wanted to meet him there.” She shoves her shoes aside, and gives me a questioning glance.

  “Sounds weird to me. We don’t even hang out with him. Does he
like you or something?”

  Billie winks. “Maybe.”

  “Do you like him?”

  “As a friend. Anyway, who cares if he likes me or not? It’s a party. It’ll be fun.”

  I sink back onto the couch cushions and rest my head. “Well, have fun then.”

  Billie pulls me up by the arm, and I reluctantly lift my head from the cushions. “No, no. I didn’t say that Brandon invited me. He invited both of us.”

  I groan. “Billie, I have no desire to go to a party where I don’t know anyone.”

  “You’ll know someone. Brandon’ll be there.”

  I cock an eyebrow. “The busboy? The one I’ve spoken maybe two words to my entire life? I hardly call that a friendship.”

  “So what? He’s a nice guy. C’mon, Ives,” Billie pleads.

  “I don’t care how nice he is. I don’t want to go to a party.” I narrow my eyes, and lean back. Curling up on the couch with a book sounds even better now than it did before. “You know how much I hate those.”

  “Okay, that’s it. I’m not going to let you sit around and have this Ivy pity-party anymore. It’s time to go out and have some fun.” Billie stands, placing her hands on her hips. “You’re coming with me to this party, and I’m not taking no for an answer.”

  I cross my arms over my chest. “You can’t make me go.”

  “I won’t let you keep moping around this apartment.” Billie waggles her fingers at me. “There are more guys out there than just Asher.”

  “This isn’t about Asher,” I answer sharply.

  “Sure it isn’t.” Billie rolls her eyes.

  “It’s not.” I let my arms fall to my sides. “You’ve been on my case about not going out for the last year, long before Asher came back.”

  Billie softens a little. “True. But you’ve been acting super depressed ever since that day he showed up at the restaurant.”

  “Billie, he was my best friend for years. Of course I’m upset that we’re not friends anymore,” I say with exasperation.

  “See, was that so hard to admit?” Billie smirks.

  “That’s what this was about? You just wanted me to admit that?”